I'm an open book when it comes to my own infertility journey and my husband and I managed to find a lot of humor in our situation which is why I wrote the show, Journey to the Center of the Uterus: Adventures Infertility! I wanted to give others a little relief from the crazy infertility roller coaster and give others who are unfamiliar with the ride a little perspective.
One of the things I've been collecting are the silly things that well meaning people say to those dealing with infertility. I can now see why couples are hesitant to tell people about their struggle. I know that these people...or at least most of these people mean well but...come on!
I'll give you an example: I told one of my actor colleagues that I had to take off work and she told me that her sister in law had gone through IVF. I asked her if it worked (as we IVF'ers usually do) and she said "Noooo...she ended up going crazy and divorcing my brother."
I exaggerate...but that's what I heard in my head! Why bother telling me at all?
But, maybe it's a good thing to hear. Keeps one realistic I suppose.
Or there are the people who are told they'd get pregnant if they weren't so fat, or get a dog and you'll get pregnant, or the worst one of all...
RELAX!
Ack! I swore if I ever heard that one I'd permanently relax that person...but, I had to remember, they really didn't know what the journey was like and, frankly, neither did I so I listened to every word...until I knew better.
This has become an element in the show thanks to the marvelously humorous song created by Marshall Stern called The Stupid Things People Say. Of course, that's along with The Hoo Ha Highway...a hilarious song about...well, the hoo ha...which we women know intimately well.
One of the things I don't know is what men hear from those "well meaning" people. I suspect their virility is questioned or the ability to please their partner is discussed.
Let me know if you've heard anything.
And remember, there is funny in this journey...you just have to look for it...
Cheers for now!
Kathleen
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Here are some that's been said to me:
ReplyDelete- why don't you just get drunk?
- If you just relax on vacation, you'll get pregnant
- I know someone who knows someone who just got pregnant on their first time
So True! Thanks for the comment Naomi...keep 'em comin'!
ReplyDeleteI have a neighbour who has four - yes four - kids. No word of a lie, she innocently said to me one day, "I don't get how all these people can't have kids. We didn't even plan on our last two and boom, there they were!" Walk away, walk away!
ReplyDeleteI have been told to simply "have more sex." Yes, that will solve our male factor infertility FOR SURE. More sex will no doubt bypass the fact that my darling husband's sperm is non-existent. You just have to laugh!
Wish I could see your show -- sounds fantastic! Naomi - we need to do a road trip!!
Indeed you do! I'd like to tour it actually...and HBO Special, here I come! Well, that would be nice...
ReplyDeleteI am in for the infertility road trip!
ReplyDeleteI would LOVE that!
ReplyDelete