Last night I went to a women in film event as a guest of AFTRA/SAG and I have to say it was inspiring to see a lot of strong, fabulous women in my industry or associated with my industry talking about the industry...the film industry that is.

Nora Dunn was an awardee, Donna La Pietra and Diane Jackson were also awardees and it was great seeing their work and being more entertained than the typical corporate event.

Then, this morning I saw a reference to those struggling with infertility as "infertiles". I have to object to that label. We are so much more than our infertility or illnesses, or diseases or disorders. We are women who have myriad interests, desires, hopes, abilities... I often tell my relative who has schizophrenia that he isn't schizophrenic...he *has* schizophrenia. He is so much more than his mental illness...he's kind, compassionate, funny, brilliant and so much more.

Sometimes we just don't move beyond the labels of "moo" or "wannabe moo" or "infertiles". They keep us mired in what the label represents as opposed to what we really are which can be stressful in itself. I'm not saying it's easy to move beyond the labels but I do believe it's necessary to get to the core of ourselves so we can move beyond the frustration.

Moos

I learned something new last week. According to one child free forum, mothers are called moos and those who want to be mothers are called wannabe-moos. They had discovered my show and had an...interesting...conversation about it. At first, I confess, I reacted badly but when I looked at it again, one or two of the posters had interesting points I suppose. They had interpreted this blog to be whiny and dramatic. Apparently the humor and tongue in cheek attitude didn't shine through as I had hoped it would.

Let's take my aunt for instance...in the past I had commented on her perpetually positive outlook on life in general and her infertility specifically and wondered what happened to me (it's a running joke between me and my sisters) If they had heard me in person they would have detected the admiration in my voice when I talk about her. I admire her outlook and her ability to move forward and laugh about everything even when times are really tough. She puts a brave face on everything. When her husband died, she put on a brave face for all of us but I know that she was in pain underneath it. Just like when she didn't have kids. I'm sure there was pain about it but she couldn't dwell on it because she was busy trying to "keep him going" after the severe mumps and a head on collision that ruined his back. I interviewed her for the show and everyone who sees the show is struck by the message of "if it's not your calling, you have to live your life as it is."

So, anyway, as far as being a "moo" is concerned...if you want them, great, if you don't, that's great too. Who cares? It's a very personal decision and if you really want kids then it's a pretty difficult thing to realize that your body has failed you especially after all of your friends and family keep bringing up the expectation for you to be pregnant. Fortunately, that didn't happen to me. Most of my friends don't have kids so it actually makes things a lot easier for me to deal with. And, I'm pretty comfortable with the way things are...we love our dog, our nieces and our family so that's pretty cool with me. And, like I say in the show, maybe I don't want the responsibility anymore.

Don't get me wrong...it would have been nice to actually get pregnant and have a kid but it didn't happen. Infertility is an important part of who I am but by no means the most important thing. So, this "wannabe-moo" will have to live her life as it is.